wow took a long time......

hehehe...wow such a long time...february and now..but oh well..nobody reads this anyway..most people are on FB, twitter...and tumbler...and i do usually rants on this blog...kinda diary cum publicized...

well..THANK GOD..i found a job...working my ass off...mwahhahaa..no..just kidding..but i was really busy...how do i say these...its a new challenge...i mean...its a slightly totally different from previous job...im still seeing black screen..but not always...hehehehe...i still do root cause analysis...but its different...because my logic is being tested..which is not really at best..mwahahaha i am not a mathematician nor a physicist...and i hate all my math subjects in college....

i went back to my previous company....it was the only option i have..i dont even know why is that...hmmm fate....i am not sure..whats the reason...but im still thankful..despite having whines and complains...it was different 5 years ako...there are some improvements...but on most cases..i think i love it during the first time i went in...XD

thankfully as i was writing this..i have found new friends..which makes things more bearable..im happy to be able to talk to people again..and just chat...but its not still the same...but im really glad for the new friends i have found in my company...

i cant really sleep that i decided to rant away...hmmm about everything in my life..except my fandom..mwahahhahaa...because it is making happy..tegomass live tour 2011 and im planning to watch it !!!!!!!!!!

okay...so i think the biggest issue i have so far..is my family...how do i say these...i am having hard time..accepting that nothing has changed over the few years..what's worse is...i think im not behaving like a filial daughter...uggh....i dunno what happened but recently i dont think i should be giving more financial help to them..i mean yes..i am living with them...but i pay the electric and water utility bills....then i gave money for food... and im not the only one working in the house....i just hate that they expect more...money is not something easy to earn though its really easy to spend it...sometimes i feel like i want to be my own...and i seriously miss my living alone in china....i have been staying here in the philippines more than half a year now..and i still want to live alone...hoping its outside the philippines...or if i have enough resources....i can live alone...but im going to korea and japan...so it will take a seat....and i dont want to hurt my mother more...since she is sometimes hurt with my attitudes regarding my siblings...because i complain a lot...hehehhehee

i dont know...when will this go away..but i know it has been bugging for about 2 years now...i am not sure if its okay to feel this way...*sighs*


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