*sighs*.....uggghhh

my day was really happy and interesting..despite accumulating a lot of debt again..but oh well...its nice to shop and eat...hehehe...

when i came home...with plastics from grocery store..my brother asked for money because he and his family will be going to his in-laws..because his partner will have practice MWF..so i think his partner's mother will be the one to take care of my niece...i told him i dont have money...i think my parents and siblings present heard it...my mom was opening something and she silently signal me that i should give money to my brother..so they can go home back to his partner's parents...i answered her in a raised voice...telling her..i dont have any money left with me which is true....and the things i bought was through credit card...i feel miserable and guilty doing that...the reason i am busying myself changing layouts for my LJ...

i always felt guilty when i do something like that...i hope tomorrow i can properly apologize to my mother about that...another thing that is making me sad..is...i know there will be limited chance now for my family to see my niece grow up...now that she is 11 months old...i think she will remember her mother's family more than us...*sighs*...i know there was a time when i became possessive of her..but i realized...and my sister told me...you're just an aunt..you're not her parents...

i know i have always prayed..that God will help with my brother...i guess this is it...maybe i should be ready letting go of my niece...if she knows us..and still enjoys being with us...i would be thankful..but if not..i will feel hurt and sad..but i know...these things happen...*sighs*

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