.......
it's been quite a while...hahahaa so very while...
omg im crying after reading my last post last march..coz you see the feeling might not be the same intensity but it is still there...
i am very lucky and happy to be used as an instrument by God and found a new friend with case..she was like a missing piece..the one that rev took away when i decided to tell him that i have fallen in love with him..and lost that friendship cultivated..throughout the 2 years we were inseparable as friends...the emptiness and the uselessness i felt during that time was with me until God decided to use me to be a strength to a friend name crized...the past 5 months has been a journey..it was enlightening to me..
before my eyes..i saw how one can be converted...and i am happy to be able to be of use by God....it was a miracle i am so proud to have witness despite those sad moments and doubts...on my ability to help her..
a month from now..she will be going back to our home country..im gonna miss her a lot..because she has made me come out of my shell and made me remember how to enjoy eating with someone again....and those long talks..under the sun..and the laughter..i have mixed emotions actually..im sad yet happy finally God's plan is unfolding for her..and make me jealous...hehehee
when will the plan for me unfold or maybe i am looking at other things too much i take for granted God's plan...
do i do not have any pure heart to see and hear what God has planned for me.???
at work..im just a girl who has been tag along with the worst boss in my department..in my family...i feel like im such a failure and a cold hearted daughter...with all the things happening...when crized talks fondly about her mother and family..i feel so envious...telling myself why i dont feel that way...
lord i am one of your best creation..please help me be the best that i can be for you and your glory...
omg im crying after reading my last post last march..coz you see the feeling might not be the same intensity but it is still there...
i am very lucky and happy to be used as an instrument by God and found a new friend with case..she was like a missing piece..the one that rev took away when i decided to tell him that i have fallen in love with him..and lost that friendship cultivated..throughout the 2 years we were inseparable as friends...the emptiness and the uselessness i felt during that time was with me until God decided to use me to be a strength to a friend name crized...the past 5 months has been a journey..it was enlightening to me..
before my eyes..i saw how one can be converted...and i am happy to be able to be of use by God....it was a miracle i am so proud to have witness despite those sad moments and doubts...on my ability to help her..
a month from now..she will be going back to our home country..im gonna miss her a lot..because she has made me come out of my shell and made me remember how to enjoy eating with someone again....and those long talks..under the sun..and the laughter..i have mixed emotions actually..im sad yet happy finally God's plan is unfolding for her..and make me jealous...hehehee
when will the plan for me unfold or maybe i am looking at other things too much i take for granted God's plan...
do i do not have any pure heart to see and hear what God has planned for me.???
at work..im just a girl who has been tag along with the worst boss in my department..in my family...i feel like im such a failure and a cold hearted daughter...with all the things happening...when crized talks fondly about her mother and family..i feel so envious...telling myself why i dont feel that way...
lord i am one of your best creation..please help me be the best that i can be for you and your glory...
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