hmmm...dmmmm

mwahahaha...writing for a while..this is the first time that i wrote something that maybe related to me...i dunno...maybe i want to remember what happen today lols..or maybe i will have more dear self posts..

it has been a long time that i noticed but now finally..i am able to accept it...hahaha..i like doing things myself and often feel awkward in crowd..hahaha..i dont feel bored being alone..and doing things on my own...but i rather feel alone when i am in group and crowd...as my friend said...pang isahan na tao lang ako...and i think that might be true..

i wonder when did all started..is it while i am in china..or maybe matagal na..di ko alam..but now i know...di talaga ako mahilig sa crowd..or group..hahaha..maybe sometimes i can manage..pero on most cases...i cannot handle it..

hehehe isa pala akong loner..i have watched super junior and infinite concert myself..mwahahhaa...kahit concert ni julie ann san jose..mwahahaa..i have watched movie myself..i was alone going to church until my friend comes along...

now i realized..whenever someone got close to me..i always distance myself...just like what is happening recently...besides overthinking...i find fault with others..when in fact i am the only one who is at fault...

it's me..thank God he has shown me in many ways...im lucky to be a part of case's journey..im so grateful God has used me...im still accepting it...and im not sure if i want to stay that way...but one thing i know..even if i make myself distant..i want to be closer to God..because he's the only who really knows me...

Lord forgive me for all the times i have doubted you..thank you for your unwavering love...i am not unlovable I have you my family and friends..if its your will that I find someone that i can love and loves me too like the way I want to..i will always be thankful..

I LOVE YOU LORD....